The Poison Of Betrayal

"Poisoned By Betrayal"

Artist "N" 2022

Life is asking me to do a lot of forgiving as well as asking for forgiveness recently. I have to admit that is no easy task! When people tell you “just forgive them” which sounds easy in theory, but do we REALLY forgive them in our heart? That is the real question?

It is especially hard to forgive someone for betrayal.

I work with a lot of emotions, but betrayal seems to be one of the deepest, and hardest emotions to work with, as it comes with multiple layers like mistrust, rejection, humiliation, sadness and grief among others.

What do you do when someone betrays you? How do you deal with and release the pain that comes with it? How do you heal? Betrayal can really stick to you, and it has the ability to make you bitter…if you let it.

If we have been betrayed, oftentimes our response is revenge, cutting the other person off, or extracting them from your consciousness altogether, we condemn the betrayer and sometimes even curse them, all of which I have done. We curse others when we think bad thoughts about them, wish them harm or even wish for them “to be taught a lesson”. This often feels justifiable to us, but is it?

It seems that every time I judge or condemn another in a highly charged emotional bout of anger or rage, the universe quickly serves me some humble pie right in the face! These types of lessons are not the kushy or cozy types of lessons, whatsoever, they are more like the universe taking a frying pan to your head to get you to wake up!

It can be quite shocking when the universe says “look in the mirror punk” my ego shreeks! the stomach turns inside out, as I look down and find myself wearing the very same shoes of the person I condemned as I find myself acting or behaving in the very same manner!

It feels horrible to be labeled as the “bad guy/girl” to be cut off, rejected and condemned, exiled and thrown away. Most of the time that bad boy or girl is just the angry rejected little child that still lives inside of us. The child believes the entire world has done him or her wrong, and underneath it all is in desperate need for love and acceptance, but does not know how to get it.

So by taking the time to reflect on both sides, and all perspectives, as well as admitting we have all been on both sides of the coin (victim and victor) we can forgive more easily.

Relationships are complex, and it seems that humans getting along with other humans is a lot to ask of us savages :) We have been warring since the beginning of time, as far as I know, but I was not alive then so I can’t say for sure.

It is impossible to say that you will never hurt another, because you will, and you will also get hurt. Even if we have the best intentions, and from your perspective it may not seem like someone has a reason to be upset, to them it’s real.

If we are to “cultivate” deep and meaningful relationships with others, each party must be willing and have the courage to communicate our authentic and sincere feelings with each other. We must become good listeners and good speakers, and make a conscious effort to listen with our hearts and become reasonable.

I think this is the only way to bridge the gap between us, and pave the way to mutual understanding. We need to become emotionally intelligent in a world that wants to pretend that emotions don’t exist, because they are too painful, but our hearts are full of emotion and that’s how our hearts talk and how we love.

It is never one side or the other…If only it were that simple, we would not be where we are today, divided, and still warring, which is clearly not working.

I pray for peace and forgiveness amongst us, I sincerely hope it is possible to get back into our hearts and love again, and at least bring some balance to all the hate out there.